How to Maintain a Valuable and Successful Relationship

All photos in this post are by  Madison Montgomery

All photos in this post are by Madison Montgomery

Find someone who looks at you like you’re magic and treats you as such. Six months ago, I found Vadym and my life changed. After swiping right on each other on Bumble and getting acquainted over text (we communicated a lot by sending music back and forth), we met exactly six months ago from today. Our first date will always be the most memorable nights of my life. It was a perfect mix of being traditional, spontaneous, and exhilarating. Prior to my brief time on Bumble I was very against signing up for any kind of online dating. It seemed stressful and scary, but I leaped in and casually swiped more lefts than rights. Vadym was my first date via an app (and I'm confident enough to say my last date), and now I'm so incredibly thankful I spent some time swiping because it introduced me to my person. 

Vadym knew he wanted to be with me by the end of our first date. It took me longer to jump onboard because I needed to strengthen my trust in him and my own feelings. After years of heartache, I had built some big walls, but luckily they weren't high enough for me to not see how amazing Vadym could be as my other half. Now we live together and my life is filled with so much light and joy as we take on our individual journeys and conjoined paths. 


The last six months have been eye opening and I have experienced an incredible amount of personal growth. Vadym has played a big role in this. He naturally shows his support and love for me through meaningful actions and words, and also doesn't let any of my bullshit slide (and vice versa). I have a better understanding of myself and my relationships, and have a great appreciation for the love I've learned to have for myself and those who are nearest and dearest to me. Keep in mind, relationships aren't easy. We've had our fair share of growing pains, but they've taught us how we can maintain a valuable and successful relationship. We're no pros and every relationship is different, but I'd love to share a few tips that I think apply to all relationships, whether romantic, platonic or family. 


Honest Communication is the Major Key

You can say all you want, but if what's coming out of your mouth isn't genuine and true to how you feel, it all means nothing. The key is to be honest and have an open mind when listening to others in order to have a constructive conversation that is a two way street. A big part of being able to do this is to know yourself, your values, and your beliefs. If you want a bona fide and genuine relationship that will continue to grow jointly in the right direction, even if you're changing individually as people, it's important to keep conversations flowing to try and stay on the same page. And unless the page is shredded and thrown in a garbage can that's on fire, it's possible to repair a rip in a page if things go awry.

Vadym and I have had countless of heart to hearts and I value each of them. I've developed an appreciation for our chats, even the tough conversations, because I feel they help us understand each other better and we've reached a level that allows us to be truly comfortable and free to deeply communicate and connect. 

Show Gratitude

Never lose your manners and express your thanks. Even if someone does something small and expected, I find that showing daily thoughtfulness and gratitude helps nurture and maintain a close relationship. This feeling of appreciation and mutual respect is a strong positive emotion. Vadym is one of the most thoughtful people I know and is very expressive with his gratitude as well. Together we've learned the value of showing appreciation for each other and from there we've recognized the value of our relationship.

Don't forget to laugh and have fun

I can often get distracted and bogged down by the mundane and stressful aspects of life, but Vadym always brings me back down to earth to let loose and live in a moment with no guilt and more fun. Over the last six months, I learned I have a hard time operating outside of daily schedules I've created in my head and find it difficult to let go of control. While I do find schedules as great ways to be productive, they also have stressed me out way more than if I were to go with the flow and set a new pace.

Flexibility, laughter and fun are great tools, and I'm in luck with Vadym because he's a hilarious goofball. It's hard to connect with someone who has a different humor, so when you find that match you're one step in the right direction. Laughter increases happiness, relieves stress, adds excitement and can create a stronger bond with a person.

Cheers to many more days, months and years LOLing with my love.